firefly night light

by sun riah

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about

recorded in a living room in moments of reflection, distant from home and searching for place. a million hearts and little sharks to Ariel Bridget Stephenson, Derick Dalton, Stefan Warner, Holly Pierce, Talia Talibuddin, David Parada, Garret Young, Eric Whelan, and Jerimy Logan for listening to my recordings, giving me feedback, providing me reassurance, and being supportive and amazing friends.

credits

released June 12, 2015

all songs written, recorded, and performed by m. bailey stephenson.
Mixed and mastered by Chris Harris at Hook Echo Sound.

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all rights reserved

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sun riah Oklahoma City, Oklahoma

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Track Name: madame melancholy (part 1)
stuck like a mouse in a goo trap
stuck like a shoe in a train track
stuck but i cannot take back
my words

...

i wait and pray that the train won't come today
but secretly i hope it will steal me away
i wait and pray that the train won't come today because
i am so happy. i am happy, right?
Track Name: madame melancholy (part 2)
curl up and hide inside
my own womb
much room in my empty womb
mistakes and afterthoughts
innocence lost
prayers once begged for future dreams
now prayers are some desperate plea
for pardon

don't let my melancholy weigh you down
but let me stay in this melancholy way round

don't let my melancholy weigh you down
but let me stay in this melancholy way round

your smiling face
i am so disgraced
when graced with your grateful face

sit and waste space with my ungrateful self.
Track Name: all fell
all fell. it all fell. awful. all of the sudden.
and now i stand much taller than i did with you.
and i. am much stronger now.

and i. and i am. the part. that i. rely on. now.
and i. and i am. much stronger now.
and i. and i am. the part. that i. rely on. now.
and i. and i am. much stronger now.

and now i stand much taller than i did with you.

i won't lie down. not this time. no. i won't lie down. not this time.
no. i can't. no. i won't lie down. not this time.
no. i won't lie down. not this time.
i won't. i won't. i won't. i can't.
no. i won't lie down. this time.
no. i won't lie down.
no. i won't fall down.
fell down.
Track Name: dangerous pair
you are really dirty, and i'm a bar of soap.
so i mope.
because it seems. it would appear. that we are a pair.
but really. truly. we are. a scare.

because in our match. our wrestling match.
you will come out squeaky clean, and
i will melt into the sink.
Track Name: swallow my state
i've gone in head
knocked back in red
i cannot shy, my mouth reclines

take this moment down to go
feel a broken shattered groan

this day, say, i may be mono
wanderlust on alone

i've gone in head
knocked back in red
i cannot shy, my mouth reclines

lay down, pray down, swallow my state.
lay down, pray down, swallow my state.
lay down, pray down, swallow my state.

lay down, pray down, swallow my state.
Track Name: forget-me-nots
we fizzle, follow, and hollow away
to save face instead of...

follow down the hole, the flock and the folly
they call on me to stay melancholy
push against the fate and the face of forever and
beg now to wake

old and tired weary with age, forget-me-nots arranged in a vase
forgive me not for i will not change, forget me not but i will not fade

you ask me for an honest tongue
forgive me not but i dream in song
of some other cheek and drug
of some other hand in love
so turn in the cards or fold or trade
forgive me not but i cannot change
prepare for the, prepare for the fall
forgive me not but i cannot call this
love.
Track Name: ice cream bones
there was an ice cream cone licked to the bare bone
the crunch was deafening woe of what is to come
from some stoned doe, fearful of noise
started chewing loud in your ear, forgot that pesky fear

and of the many times we laughed and cried
there was the moment that i realized
that your heart and mine were not aligned
that your heart and my heart were not aligned

and at the time we fell apart. i fell apart. i fell apart.
i fell apart. i fell apart into your arms.
into your arms because
i had no where else to go
your arms were
my home

there was an ice cream cone licked to the bare bone
the crunch was a deafening woe of what has come
four years and ringing ears and here we are

it is the end for real this time... i don't know what else to say...
we've been down this road so many times... and here we are.

it is the end for real this time... i don't know what else to say...
but goodbye.
Track Name: rebirth or decay
i stand. beneath the pecan tree.
i feel. the shells smart beneath my feet.
the smell. of dead squirrel lingers in my mind.
time has passed and new smells have arrived.

fading colors, shifting face, shifting place

watercolor sunsets, watercolor past, watercolor pasture, watercolor now.
open space and open faces this open place is closed to me.

i stand. beneath the pecan tree.
i feel. the shells smart beneath my feet.
the smell. of dead squirrel lingers in my mind.
rebirth or decay, i wonder.

rebirth or decay, i wonder.
rebirth or decay, i wonder.
rebirth or decay, i wonder.
rebirth or decay, i wonder.

rebirth or decay, memories fade and they stay. standing here, i long for the summer days when a train in the distance meant awe and wonder and rainy days meant chasing thunder and
splashing in mud puddles and fishing and
skipping rocks with you.

rebirth or decay, it doesn't matter
rebirth or decay, i miss you now.
Track Name: firefly night light, my heart
fall into the bright lights
i come here to think
in my weak and hungover sadness
as i stare down at my feet

i pace through these city streets and
stumble through my mind

come to find
the city lights are tricksters
promising warmth
they can't provide

firefly night light, my heart, guide me through this dark
with your glow i know i'll find my way
firefly night light, my heart, guide me through this dark
with your glow i know i'll find my way

fall into the gold stuff
i don't know what is real
and this gold stuff
it is the darkest part
it is the darkest part
it is the darkest part
because it keeps me here

firefly night light, my heart, guide me through this dark
with your glow, i know i'll find my way
firefly night light, my heart, guide me through this dark
with your glow, i know i'll find my way home.

i'll find my way home.
i'll find my way home.
i'll find my way home.

firefly night light, my heart, guide me through this dark
with your glow i know i'll find my

half yours, half mine, our garden
half yours, half mine, our garden
not yours, not mine, but our garden